Tag: fightcamp

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Oh hey. I have a fight.

Technically it is a Muay Thai tournament. And I have ALWAYS wanted to do one. But there is nothing like this up north. So guess we just have to travel to Orlando.

In 3 days 🙂

It has been 3 years since I have done any competition and it feels like no time has passed. I always have trained hard, even through the pandemic. But my style has shifted so much in the years following my son. Ground work throws my back out, so I gravitate to stand up. Especially after losing my only thai fight before. I finally spent time learning the rules and the differences between kickboxing and Muay Thai; I really feel good. I will always be a more kickboxing style fighter (sorry not sorry), but I can see where I need to improve for specifically Muay Thai. Clinch needs to be tighter, my showman ship needs to change; take forward steps, not bounce around etc.
*and please do not try and double leg her *

But I feel good. I am so ready to get back in.

Mentally I still feel fucked, but I just love fighting and feel ready for that again. The past 2 years have really been a trying time. Between all of my grandparents dying. One of my close friends and my brother’s father dying. Changing gyms, and then that gym shut down for Covid. Some violent traumatic events occurring for several months. Moving out of our place without a new one lined up(it worked out amazingly actually) and now drama at our home gym causing us to leave days before my fight. We can call it a really bad line up of events.

But I am still so excited to fight. Let’s just pray my toddler doesn’t act like an idiot while we are there. Or run away. Cause we have no sitter for this fight lol.

Thank you to anyone that read this far. And also thank you to all of my amazing sponsors.

Santiago’s in Hampton NH
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Bean Insurance agency in Hampton
Chucky’s fight
Theme It Out events
Logue Construction in Hampton
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Oh snap, Klaus is 5 months

Little man is five and a half months and I am coming back hard at the gym.
Working with actual nutrition plans and strength plans and fight training plans. It’s nice to transition back into how things were, but it’s still very frustrating. I find that now that I’m doing a lot of lifting and strength training and going back into my harder powerlifting routine I feel very self-conscious. I used to walk into the weight room and feel on top of the world because I knew that I’d be deadlifting 270 that day and no other girl did that and I felt like a crazy badass cause then I go straight to my fighting gym after that and choke people out. Nowadays it’s hard for me to lift over 170 and I’m flailing around on the mats trying to figure out what my body is supposed to do. Pregnancy really changed a lot of things that I didn’t think it would, and it seems to be very frustrating. I walk into the gym and I have this constant feeling that everyone’s watching me and they’re all judging me, talking among themselves about how weak I got how bad of a fighter I got, how shitty I am. And it’s silly. That is all I think about every time I go to the gym, and I still think that I’m lesser than I was previously. And I know that I’m weaker, and slower, and a lot of my skills I’ve gotten Rusty. But I know with time and continuing on this plan of action I’m on, that all of my skills will come back. This may be frustrating now, but it will come back. Everyday I still hear those voices saying: “how weak you are, you suck, you’re slow, why can’t you get this, why can’t you figure this drill out”. But I know at the end of the day, each day is one step to get better and back to the old strong fighter I was. It is still exceptionally frustrating. At least it’s not my first time being at the bottom so I know that I can get there, and I know that I can exceed how I used to be, I can be in a lighter weight class, with more muscle and strength. I built an amazing foundation. It may have been torn down, but I can rebuild even stronger. I know how to gain muscle. I don’t have to learn everything like I did before. I have been fighting for most of my life. I just need to dust myself off.
Now it is just about gaining strength and sharpening my skills and mind.