I have never thought about what pregnancy would be like. Until the last few years I never thought I would even have kids…
But here I am, 14 weeks pregnant.
Previously I had been so in touch with my body. From being an athlete for so long I can feel when things are running smoothly, or if I need more fuel, vitamins, water etc. If I am hitting goals or over training. I could feel what small differences made in my diet and training. Everything seemed to be in sync.
My body feels alien now. I went from lean abs and muscular arms, to a bloated tummy and fat accumulating everywhere. I can’t deadlift 270lbs, nor can I deadlift 160lbs for that matter. My squat is at 150 on a non vomiting day. And my clean and jerks are now done with just the bar. My one saving grace is that I know I can bounce back. In time…lots of time.
With this constant negativity there is some positive. I’m growing with a insatiable burn to compete. It kills me to watch the dieting girls going on stage. Or the other strawweight fighters getting in the cage and gaining more experience than I. But that doesn’t matter. My drive is doubling everyday and I am utilizing my off time. I’m doing my best to maintain muscle and I am still in every boxing, Thai, grappling class I can. It’s much slower and safer, but damned if I stop doing what I love.
At 14 weeks my belly is now to the point were nothing fits exactly right. Which is neat since I am a small person, and I know a human is growing, and frustrating. I need new clothes often and that only will get worse when I go into maternity. But I have come to enjoy the weight gain and growing belly. Even on days when nothing fits me and I look like a disheveled homeless person.
I can’t say I don’t “idolize” the fit preggo people posting about abs at 6 months. But hey I’m built differently than them. And I’m *teeth cringing* okay with it.
And in case anyone is wondering I am eating at maintenance still. Tracking macros and still have a food diary. It is a little off some days, but hey whatevs.
I had days when I ate 2000 calories and days when I could only handle 500. Pregnancy was not awesome the first 10 weeks for me….